Jokes For Sharing

A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversay in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said `For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered `Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: `Well, this is all very romantic; but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.' The wife and the fairy, were deeply disappointed but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof ........ the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful idots should remember fairies are female .......

Lateral Thinking

A merchant who owes money to a money lender agrees to setle the debt based upon the choice of two stones (one black, one white) from a money bag. If his daughter chooses the white stone, the debit is cancelled; if she picks the black stone, the moneylender gets the merchant's daughter. However, the moneylender `fixes' the outcome by putting two black stones in the bag.

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If you were the daughter, how would you solve this problem?

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The daughter sees this and when she picks a stone out of the bag, immediately drops it onto the path full of other stones. She then points out that the stone she picked must have been the opposite colour of the one remaining in the bag. Unwilling to be found out as dishonest, the money lender must agree and cancel the debt. The daughter has solved an intractable problem through the use of lateral thinking.

We may not be able to change people's attitude, but we can start by changing their perception, and that comes from changing their thinking patterns. Solution? Lateral Thinking.

Successor in Line

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, `It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. The young executives were shocked but the boss continued, `I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.'

One man named Jim was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants there were beginning to grow.

One year later when the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified.

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim and then announced to the young executives. `Behold your next Chief Executive Officer/'

`How could he be the new CEO?' the others said.

Then the CEO said, `One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds, they were dead - it was not posible for them to grow.'

All of you, except Jim have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer.

Thinking Out of the Box

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden but it was very hard work. His only son, who used to help him was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
`Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm getting too old to be digging up the garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad'

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.
`Dear Dad,
For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.
Love Son'

At 4.00am the next morning, FBI agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.

`Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Son'

Moral of the story. If you can't do it on your own .... get HELP!!!!
Put your imagination in use and see that HELP comes thru your creativeness.
THINK OUT OF THE BOX.

Jokes from Malaysia

Country of Origin: Malaysia

A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner yesterday.

How? The other beggar asked.

First beggar: Someone gave me a RM100 note yesterday. I went to the KL Tower Revolving Restaurant and ordered wine and dinner worth RM1000.00 and enjoyed the dinner. When the bill came, I said I had no money. The manager called the policeman, and handed me over to him.

I gave him RM100 note to the police fellow, and he set me free.

Isn't that a wonderful example of financial management?!!!

Employability

In a tough economy, it can be challenging for us to keep our job as it is still an employer's market. Many people have been affected by restructuring and downsizing in large Corporation.

The following are ways to boost our employability:


Plan
Think out of the box and translate our strengths into skills that the employer could use. Be open to working in a new industry or an overseas posting.
Exercise
Improve on the mental and physical stamina to face the realities in life. We will feel more positive, confident with dealing with other people.
Networking
Networking plays an important role in opening more opportunities in the job market.
Communication
It is important to hone our communication skills as it enhances our working relationships with our colleagues and business associates.
Initiative
Be proactive and do not be afraid to embark on new challenges.Learn from the experiences of others. Take it as a step to better ourselves.
Learn
Keep up with what is happening in the industry. Never stop learning, be it new skills and knowledge.

Something for sharing

Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year is just round the corner. This is the year of the metal rabbit. Let us hope this year of metal rabbit is a better year.

With the coming year, the mandarin oranges are a bit expensive due to poor harvest. However mandarin oranges are synonymous with Chinese New Year. The hypermarkets are having mid night promotion for last minutes shoppers. The shopping complexes are decorated in line with the festival occasion. It is also the time of the year when we have to take stock and review.

The fast and easy way to review our personality and career:

o identify our areas of strength and possible areas of weakness;
o Capitalise on our strength and improve on our weaknesses;
o Understand our own preference for personal development;
o Chart our career path and recognize opportunities for greater success.

Something for sharing.