Ah Beng jokes II

Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems.  He decides to use the `Help' command after some tries.  Soon after, be become very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng: `I pressed the `F1' key for help... but it's been over half an hour and still nobody has come to help me ?????

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, `I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor, but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck to to my ear, so kena lor!'
`Oh dear!' the doctor exclaimed in disbelift. `But, what happened to the other ear?'
`Aiyah! That stooopid dumbo called back`'

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Merdeka

It is the time of the year when we celebrate our Independence Day.
It is the day when we reflect on our past achievements.
It is another year of cheers and success.
Malaysia has established a foothold in the world.

Happy Merdeka, Malaysia.

Ah Beng Jokes

Ah Beng to a long-distance telephone operator:
`Could you please tell me the time difference between Taipei and Las Vegas?'
Operator: `Just a minute ...'
Ah Beng: `Thank you.' and hangs up.

At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender, `Johnnie Walker, single.' and his companion says, `Jack Daniels, single.'  The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, `And you, sir.'
Ah Beng replies `Tan Ah Beng, married.'

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. `It took me only 5 months to do it,' Ah Beng brags.
`5 months? That's too long,' the friends exclaims. `You are a fool.'
Ah Beng replies, `No-lah, see this box, it is written `for 4 - 7 years lah'

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Codes for sharing

Well, well it is talking of codes.
In this world, we are just talking of codes all the times.
However, when someone has changed the codes just imagine what will happen?  Look carefully at the expression and relate it to the saying.
Sometimes it is very true as the expression tell a story.

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Joke for the Day

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.  When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.  She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude.  But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walkjed up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat down.  Well, the teacher couldnt figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.

`It's a period.' reported Johnnie.

`Well, I can see that.' she said `but what is so exciting about a period.'

`Damned if I know.' said Johnnie, `but this morning my sister said she missed one, then Daddy had a heart attack, mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself.'

Jokes about Titanic

The Titanic was sinking and there werent enough lifeboats, so the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.

To the British he said: `You must act like gentlmen.' They jumped.
To the Amercians, he said: `You can be heroes.'  They compiled.
To the Germans, he said: `It's the rule.'  They obeyed.
To the Japanese, he said: `It's the consensus.'  They obliged.

Then came the group of Singaporeans. And they just werent budging until he came up with the appeal: `Free life jackets for those who jump.'

Then came a group of Malaysians.  Before the captain could think of what to say, they yelled `Malaysia Boleh' and they jumped.

Before and After Marriage

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